Zeroday stars – Friday 13 December 2019

Hello everyone, sorry I missed last week. I was doing doughnuts on a BBQ Buoy at my work Christmas show. And generally behaving like I was 30 years younger than I actually am.

Today Venus, Saturn and Pluto are all hanging together in Capricorn. This shit is not free and easy. This is some seriously buttoned up, meet the parents-in-law kind of energy. What we can do is look for the upside. It’s a great time to think of the structures in our lives and our relationships in a more pragmatic way. Do they really serve us well? Or have these relationships been built on something unhelpful. Don’t go leaving anyone on my account, but have a good think about why you are with the people you are with.

Blessings, Carole 🙂

PS: This weeks photo is by Toa Heftiba Şinca

Aries (21 March-21 April)

A charismatic emotional display of gargantuan proportions will sneak up and whisk your inner feelings off to the darkest corner of your Xmas show for a full deep and meaningful with Alex from accounting. Set some personal limits Rammy Ram.

Taurus (21 April-20 May)

When a bedroom clean out sees a bible fall out from the behind the cupboard you decide it’s time to get your ideological house into order. Some of your beliefs are driving a wedge through your capacity for fun, splitting your personality and your resources. Take on new information Big Bull.

Gemini (21 May-21 June)

A minor confrontation with the pathologically bored attendant at the supermarket self-service checkout leaves you wondering just where your objectivity and empathy have gone today. Your before-Christmas to-do list is killing you quickly. Prioritise Gemmy Gem.

Cancer (22 June-22 July)

As you searched for your best eating pants this morning, ready for a day of potential over-indulgence you could feel something tapping on your subconscious. Was it a pixie from the netherworld or your grown-up self, begging for a hearing. Indulge in restraint Courageous Cancer.

Leo (23 July-23 August)

A recent sojourn into the world of problem-solving sees a successful attempt at un-picking the lock to the spirits cabinet. Having left objectivity and restraint in your other tool box, you find yourself communing with spirits on both sides of the veil. Careful who you listen to Leapin’ Leo. And PS: whatever you do, don’t get loose with a Gemini tonight!

Virgo (24 August-23 September)

A quick Maria Kondo podcast leaves an unsettling feeling, in part because Maria has never unsettled you before and in part because, well you don’t know why. Something is telling you not to care as much, but if don’t care about order, what will you care about? Just prepare for things to get loose tonight Very Virgo.

Libra (24 September-23 October)

A tidy up of your undies drawer reveals the hiding place of your passport. Hiding your passport from yourself has been a brilliant coping strategy for the mundane passage of life. And as you fondle that tiny little book of dreams you can feel your coach and scatter cushions tied to you like an anchor, in collusion with reality. Maybe just a day trip Luscious Libra.

Scorpio (24 October-22 November)

A peppered assault of other people’s opinions leaves you wondering whether you should be wearing stronger armour or at the very least some Under Armour under your over armour. Something got through one of the gaps and it stings like a brothertrucker. Snap the arrow and stay on course Super Scorp.

Sagittarius (23 November-21 December)

As you wait for your Nutri-bullet to deliver a salvation of blended vitamins and fructose to clear away the over-indulgences of the past weeks you’re struck by inspiration. Which is better than wayward fruit. Slam that thing down and go buy Christmas presents that will make people love you Saucy Sag.

Capricorn (22 December-20 January)

It was the Grinch socks at the Kris Kringle that really held that mirror up to your recent misanthropic tendencies. For the love of Dog why do people need to talk and drink and shout and dance in public places to celebrate anything? Grab your catch-bag of conversation starters and head on out there Billy Goat.

Aquarius (21 January-18 February)

It was when you were drafting your letter to Santa that you realised that the things you want this year are completely intangible and, of the more slight tangibles ones, impossible to obtain. No-one is going to wrap up environmental policy change and pop it under the tree for you. Maybe just ask for a sudoku book Actual Aquarius.

Pisces (19 February-20 March)

An unsettling expansion and thinning out of your soul started to interfere with your breakfast sugar rush this morning. Not your fault that your local barista didn’t understand when you explained it so clearly. Wear heavy shoes and try to stay grounded. You can thank Lizzo for today’s anthem Little Fish, “It ain’t my fault if I’m out here getting’ loose…”.

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