Friday stars – 16 August 2019

So, years ago I used have a Tumblr blog called zerodaystars. I thought Tumblr had disappeared into the veggie crisper of the Interwebs, but it turns out WordPress just bought it. Maybe at an opp shop or a market. Who knows?! But in celebration, I’ve decided to resurrect zerodaystars.

Here’s what you need to know this Friday 16 August. Or not…

Aries

Hey Rammy Ram, instead of burning out an F45 training session this morning, your distraction levels reached Code Sparkle and your work pants are still hanging in your wardrobe. This is unsettling territory for you and probably not the kind of recognition you were looking for. Just have fun today (and maybe find some pants).

Taurus

Well Big Bull you are the black hole of lovin’ today. Ok, haul your mind out of the gutter. What I mean is, no matter what type of attention and lovin’ you get today, you are going the full Depeche Mode ‘Just can’t get enough’. Rather than wear your friends out, maybe go the Justin Bieber and ‘Love Yourself’.

Gemini

You’re bursting with news today, aren’t you Gemmy Gem? And some of it you haven’t even read yet! It’s the kind of day where the only effective use of the shit you know is to say it out loud. A lot. And again. With conviction. Excuse me, are you listening? 5-star listening please – eyes and ears. No new facts will remain dormant on your watch.

Cancer

Courageous Cancer, yesterday’s Full Moon has prompted some personal reflection on everything from political persuasion to your part-time job wearing a wombat suit for WWF. In a fit of public drama, you zip off the suit (scaring the bejeezuz out of some kid on his way to kindy) and declare, “I’m better than this!”. That kid will either devote their life to wombat rights or is on the way to a counsellor as we speak.

Leo

There’s nothing worse that having to change how you think, is there Leapin’ Leo? It’s unsettling and time consuming. What’s worse is you don’t even know why you’re changing your mind. There’s no obvious outside influence. An unsettling ear-worm has knocked on the door, found your conscience at home and popped in for a cuppa. Perhaps some aural irrigation is required.

Virgo

All work and no play makes Very Virgo a dull toy. Understandably world domination takes a few contact hours to get moving, and no overlord worth their salt will dispute that. But maybe, just maybe, a crazy-arse idea pops into your head today that halves the amount of work on your plate. Leaving enough time to go out for a pint of socialising.

Libra

As your friends pull together for an intervention Lovely Libra, you sit calmly combing your bright blue locks and self-piercing your septum. Your usually conservative, non-confronting demeanour has caught the last tram out of town, leaving a strange combination of righteous weirdness that no-one knows how to diagnose or treat. Most likely because it’s not a disease. Enjoy the rebellion!

Scorpio

Interior decorating takes a turn today Super Scorp. After binge-watching The Block, you’re overtaken by a primal need to decorate at someone. As you neighbour wanders in for the final reveal, clarity prevails and you realise that eclectic boho minimalism is oxymoronic. You shove them out the side door and quickly start to disassemble your shame. Let’s never speak of this again.

Sagittarius

No-one likes to be piggy in the middle, do they Saucy Sag? But today you feel like the pulled pork in a sandwich that has moved just past the Use By date. They paradoxically want too much from you, while feeling obliged to pop you in the bin. Ever the optimist, you suggest a little extra dressing washed down with a kombucha insurance policy. Stand your ground Saucy.

Capricorn

It would seem that all of the dependable structure that we know and love from you Billy Goat has gone on a trip to Hawaii today. Not just for the waves either, but a full soul-searching Big Island experience. When those feelings float to the surface you could go Book of Mormon style and “Turn it off, like a light switch…”. Or maybe go with it. Either way, you’ll take your friends by surprise.

Aquarius

Trying to bury the weirdness deep down won’t really work Actual Aquarius. You can pop your finger in the dyke (structural hydrological metaphor, in case you’re wondering), but something always slips past. The world feels harsh today, so hang with your peeps and weird out together. If you find yourself in the wrong pond, just let tiny bits of weird out like a tightly controlled fart.

Pisces

Oh my! If there was going to be an uprising of the Little Fish, today would be a possible diary date. After years of corporate dictators telling the world that money is all that matters, word around the pond is that it’s okay to touch and feel sometimes. Although to be fair, touching and feeling is home-ground for many corporate pariahs. But the real story is, dreamers gonna dream.

Featured image by Liana De Laurent from Pexels

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